Alex Rodriguez is not in the Hall of Fame. And he’s fine with that.

Really, he is.

Rodriguez ranks fifth all-time in Major League Baseball career home runs with 696. Only Barry Bonds (762), Hank Aaron (755), Babe Ruth (714) and Albert Pujols (703) have more. Rodriguez also ranks fourth all-time in RBIs with 2,086, trailing only Aaron (2,297), Pujols (2,218) and Ruth (2,214).

But Rodriguez’s baseball legacy also includes admitting to taking performance-enhancing drugs — including a Biogenesis lab scandal that led to a suspension for the 2014 MLB season. And though he was a 14-time MLB All-Star and a three-time AL MVP, he also drew criticism during his time with the New York Yankees because of his inability to deliver clutch hits, bearing the weight of the team’s storied history and the expectations that come with being its franchise player.

Rodriguez said he has “divorced” himself from the idea of being in the Hall of Fame. Much of that thought has come with the assistance of therapy sessions that have helped him focus on introspection and accountability. He has called himself a “recovering narcissist” and is cognizant of the hatred and vitriol he receives from some fans.

“I have a life today that I didn’t have for the first 40 years,” Rodriguez told The Athletic in an exclusive interview. “If I went to the Hall of Fame, in a weird way, I would be hollow inside. I would still be in a lot of pain.

“I would rather have what I have today, because it really helped me unlock a lot of the work that I needed to do.”

Mention Rodriguez’s name to some Yankees fans, and notice the eye rolls and grumbles. They won’t talk about his role in helping the Yankees win their last World Series in 2009. The wounds of the controversies and overall experiences in the Bronx are still fresh, even more than a decade later.

It’s not a surprise to Rodriguez. Self-reflection has allowed the 50-year-old to look back and understand why fans have those feelings. He said his two daughters, Natasha and Ella, have glanced at old interviews of the former baseball star and found that figure unrecognizable from the person they know now.

Much of that, he says, has been the result of therapy. With the help of Dr. David Schnarch, a trauma therapist and clinical psychologist, Rodriguez began viewing the years before his 2014 suspension with a different perspective. Schnarch, who died in 2020, helped Rodriguez face the person he once was and also channel why he became such a polarizing individual in and outside of baseball.

“I’m like, ‘Whoa, what the hell am I doing here? This doesn’t make any sense,’” Rodriguez said. “But the more I stayed with it, the more it started to really affect me in a positive way. Seeing things in a different way and then looking at my past, definitely not as a victim but understanding some of my behavior and making sure that I’m learning from those behaviors and it never happens again.”