Here are Quentin Letts' gloriously irreverent caricatures from the past year at Westminster. So can you guess his victims?

SOURCE:Daily Mail

From that Budget disaster to Trump's swaggering on the world stage, 2025 was a year of new lows in politics.

From that Budget disaster to Trump’s swaggering on the world stage, 2025 was a year of new lows in politics. Luckily, though, there’s been one man who has found shafts of humour among the dross – our peerless sketchwriter Quentin Letts. But can you guess who he was describing in our hilarious quiz?

1. ‘He steamed into the Commons, hair set in aspic, gait clenched. Buttocks like two halves of a walnut. He must be champion at floorsquats with a backside that tense.’

A: Health Secretary Wes Streeting

B: Northern Ireland Secretary Hilary Benn

C: Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer

D: Shadow Secretary for Housing Sir James Cleverly

2. ‘His vanity is a Ming vase, to be handled only by qualified Sotheby’s porters with green-baize gloves. One incautious trip and – smash – World War Three could erupt. It was worse than watching a chess match when the pieces are live grenades.’

A: Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orban

B: President of the United States, Donald Trump

C: Russian president Vladimir Putin

D: Former Labour Deputy Leader John McDonnell

3. ‘Words flew from her in a torrent. The physical feat of talking so long and loudly was remarkable. You can see how she developed such a strong jaw. It was working like bilge pumps in Venice during high water.’

A: Former Labour Deputy Leader Angela Rayner

B: Tory leader Kemi Badenoch

C: Deputy Labour Leader Lucy Powell

D: Your Party MP Zarah Sultana

4. ‘The dullard who thinks he is God’s gift. Alan Partridge playing Larry Olivier.’

A: Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer

B: Tory MP Sir Gavin Williamson

C: Liberal Democrat Leader Ed Davey

D: Tory MP Kit Malthouse

5. ‘When he shimmered down a corridor, you could almost hear Sade’s Smooth Operator’.

A: Peter Mandelson

B: Sir Tony Blair

C: Sir Mark Carney, Canadian prime minister

D: Former prime minister Rishi Sunak

6. ‘He does to ministers what Hannibal Lecter used to do to human liver.’

A: Shadow Justice Secretary Robert Jenrick

B: Former chief adviser to the PM, Dominic Cummings

C: Shadow Chancellor Sir Mel Stride

D: Shadow Secretary for Housing, Sir James Cleverly

RETRUI

Here are Quentin Letts' gloriously irreverent caricatures from the past year at Westminster. So can you guess his victims?

1. ‘He steamed into the Commons, hair set in aspic, gait clenched. Buttocks like two halves of a walnut. He must be champion at floorsquats with a backside that tense.’

2. ‘His vanity is a Ming vase, to be handled only by qualified Sotheby’s porters with green-baize gloves. One incautious trip and – smash – World War Three could erupt. It was worse than watching a chess match when the pieces are live grenades.’

3. ‘Words flew from her in a torrent. The physical feat of talking so long and loudly was remarkable. You can see how she developed such a strong jaw. It was working like bilge pumps in Venice during high water.’

4. ‘The dullard who thinks he is God’s gift. Alan Partridge playing Larry Olivier.’

5. ‘When he shimmered down a corridor, you could almost hear Sade’s Smooth Operator’.

6. ‘He does to ministers what Hannibal Lecter used to do to human liver.’

7. ‘She walked along the front bench, past the Despatch Box, en route to her normal place. It was like seeing a gerbil cross the M4 during rush hour. Everything else had to stop.’

8. ‘[He] is a walking yawn, an over-boiled potato, a blob of pointless starch. Mere unbuttered mush.’

9. ‘He came prancing into the Commons dressage ring. He was on the tips of his hooves, gnashers bared, swishing his tail. These are glory days for the goofball.’

10. ‘If you have ever heard cattle separated from their calves you will know that they bellow, loud, long and low. [Her] performance was not dissimilar.’

11. ‘A zero-hours-contract duke’

12. ‘[She], whom at first I mistook for Boris Yeltsin, eyed Mr Jarvis as if he were a shrivelled sausage at a buffet supper.’

13. ‘She wobbled her head and adopted a damp, disapproving tone. Public-emergency edict delivered by Play School presenter.’

14. ‘When [he] is in this mode, his unction levels are on a par with Captain Webb, the Victorian swimmer who smeared himself in porpoise fat before leaping into the English Channel.’

15. ‘The blinky old sausage stood there sheathed in self-satisfaction, lubed by vanity, tremendously full of himself.’

16. ‘That voice, the pauses, the tangible reasonableness of the man: all the misery of lockdown came rushing back.’

17. ‘A grinning chipmunk, excited and pert in his blue lounge suit.’

18. ‘Chief Stooge in this drama… He plays Smee to Trump’s Captain Hook.’

19. ‘Dazzlingly intellectual … In an effort to praise the military she managed to refer to our “armed sauces”.’

20. ‘Owner of the best combover since Bobby Charlton.’

21. ‘[She] bared her teeth and laughed that she didn’t give a fig. A shaft of electric light glinted off one of her fangs ... What big teeth you have, Grandma, said Little Red Riding Hood.’

22. ‘Hot gases were vented. Shards of consonant, vowel and possibly half-digested custard cream went flying. Whole syllables vanished, never to be seen again. Haitches were not so much dropped as sent hundreds of feet in the air ... ’

23. ‘In a different life she could have dreamed of gold at the call-centre industry’s annual Oscars, held at some function suite in Brentford.’

24. ‘Tart as a crabapple, voice like a rook … she pulled a scowl that could have curdled Cornwall.’

25. ‘A man whose [TV] bulletin intros and upsums can be divided into several chapters, complete with index and footnotes.’

26. ‘He moves through Whitehall as if with a ladder over his shoulder and sends colleagues flying. If there’s a bucket of whitewash, he’ll step in it. He’s Frank Spencer KC.’

27. ‘Until fairly recently he was a plumpish pear shape, broad at the hips with love handles ... No more. He now boasts a Russian supermodel’s cheekbones.’

28. ‘He may be the sort of person you lose sight of on a misty, moonlit night. But he is, or was, good at politics.’

29. ‘It was the pose of sari-clad Indian dancers, fingers held apart like an old-fashioned toasting fork. You could have popped marshmallows on each of those long, bony digits and brought them to blistering perfection over a campfire.’

30. ‘Her already baritone voice dropped a little. It’s now so deep that she could rival Lee Marvin singing “I was born under a wand’rin’ star”.’

31. ‘Froggy grin, Ronseal suntan, meaty thumbs-ups to imaginary familiar faces in the large crowd.’

32. ‘He used to love slipping into a transatlantic accent to show how hands-on he was. Then came video footage of him with another chap’s wife and we saw “hands-on” did not quite do him justice.’

33. ‘Whoever styled her hairdo may have had Herman Munster in mind.’

34. ‘It was like seeing a water-skier being hauled out of the shallows by a powerful speed-boat.’

35. ‘[He is] looking more and more like Leslie Crowther.’

36. ‘Grinning in grey-strapped heels and ruffled hairdo, [when she] took the oath it was the first time many had heard her voice. She has a flat, bored accent, not like Barbara Windsor’s East-Enders’ barmaid. Pity.’

37. ‘Her weirdly precise bob of inky hair swinging like a black satin curtain in an Istanbul brothel, wafted by a Bosphorus breeze.’

38. ‘Does he look more statesmanlike – less the startled bog-brush, at least? A little.’

39. ‘... the mighty midget, his blue eyes suddenly dazzling like BMW headlights.’

40. ‘She bared her impressive gnashers, peeling back her lips like a winner in the parade ring at Aintree.’