How running helped Shalom overcome substance abuse
SOURCE:ABC Australia|BY:Grace Atta
Shalom Kaa used to think running was something other people did. But after a series of events that left him at his lowest, running became a big part of his recovery following years of substance abuse with crystal methamphetamines.
Shalom Kaa never thought he would be a runner. That was something other people — the "fit" and "lycra clad" — spent their early mornings doing.
But not him.
"My whole life I was never going to be skinny, I was never going to be someone who liked exercise, I was never going to be those people**,"** he says.
"And so I kept myself in that mindset that well ... I'm just never going to be that."
Warning: This story discusses drug use.
Shalom Kaa says he felt like running and exercising was something other people did, and not something he'd be capable of doing long-term.(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
Shalom Kaa was using crystal methamphetamines for years before he finally gave it up, after a series of difficult events.(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
But after a series of events that left Shalom feeling at his lowest, in mid-2025 he put on a pair of a sneakers and went for a run.
For Shalom that decision was about more than just becoming fit, it was about finding a new path after years of substance abuse.
Shalom Kaa on and off the stage
Shalom Kaa is recognisable to many in Darwin as an all-rounder entertainer, having worked in the city he calls the "land of opportunity" for the past 10 years as an actor, singer, comedian and emcee, to name a few of the many hats he wears.
On stage and across social media, Shalom's upbeat, witty and positive presence is hard to miss.
Shalom Kaa is a well-known local entertainer in Darwin, having worked in the city for more than 10 years.(Supplied: Shalom Kaa)
In addition to his abilities as a singer, Shalom Kaa often performs as a comedian and emcee.(Supplied: Shalom Kaa)
Soon after arriving to Darwin a decade ago, Shalom Kaa landed the lead role in Jesus Christ Superstar at a local theatre.(Supplied: Shalom Kaa)
But the story of his life off stage and its more challenging times is one only very few were privy to until recently.
"There's been substance abuse through [the last several years], especially with ice, which is not where I thought I'd end up," he says.
"It's sort of laced my life ... in a way that I never expected, because I didn't expect life to come and knock on my door and say: 'Actually you haven't worked some things out.'"
The now 50-year-old says methamphetamines made him "feel loved", less lonely and like he was "worth something" — a feeling he'd been chasing since he was a little kid.
"I grew up as a child looking very different, I had Asian eyes, I was clearly going to be gay ... being Indigenous [Māori] in New Zealand was actually really really difficult back then … and [our family] were also musicians," he says.
"And I thought that cocktail was too much and so I just didn't like myself at all."
Shalom Kaa says he grew up feeling "different" as a gay, Māori kid living in 1970s New Zealand's in a Jehovah's Witness family.(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
Shalom says when about a decade ago he discovered a drug — methamphetamines — that he says could give him love "straight away" it was "absolutely enticing."
And when he started taking the drug intravenously, Shalom says his usage escalated.
"My relationship at the time wasn't doing so well, I had gained a lot of weight, and just hadn't dealt with all of that," he says.
"Then once a week became once every few days, and it ultimately became daily."
Shalom Kaa says he has spent decades, since childhood, struggling with a dislike for himself.(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
A 'turning point'
By the end of 2022, Shalom says he had been taking crystal methamphetamines intravenously for a few years.
Then on Boxing Day things turned for the worse.
"I felt my arm become really painful and my whole body became just so lethargic," he says.
"And so I went to RDH [Royal Darwin Hospital] and sure enough, I had an infection in this arm from using a dirty needle."
Shalom spent 16 days in hospital recovering from the infection, during which he had three surgeries including a skin graft.
Looking at his scar today, Shalom's grateful for the care he received and says: "If I'd gone later, I might have lost my arm".
Shalom Kaa had a skin graft taken from his thigh to cover the wound on his arm. The surgery has still left a scar. (ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
Looking at his scar Shalom says he's reminded of how cared for he was at the hospital, particularly after having felt lonely for so long.(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
Looking at himself in the mirror Shalom still battles with the idea of self-love, saying through tears "I like him, but I'm not sure that I love him". (ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
Despite that "scary" ordeal, Shalom says when he was discharged from hospital in early 2023 he still "went straight back to the meth".
Shalom says while he was "healthy again physically", he still wasn't in a good place mentally.
It wasn't until two weeks later when his father-in-law died, and then a week after that when Shalom's mother also died that things started to change for him.
"That was a turning point for me," Shalom says.
During a flight back to Darwin from New Zealand, where he had gone to organise his mother's funeral, Shalom says he had a realisation about his lifelong struggle with self-acceptance while listening to A Song for You by Donny Hathaway.
Listening to those lyrics, Shalom imagined singing them to his "five-year-old self" and realised he had never let go of that "bullied kid who hated himself".
"So it was time to have a look and see: 'How do I let this kid go?'" Shalom says.
Running towards healing
Staying with friends at a place near one of Darwin's many running tracks in 2025, Shalom started looking for a new healthy outlet to feel better about himself.
"[The track] is right there and everybody's running," he says.
"I say: 'Well, I can do just that little stretch of The Esplanade', and then it became: 'Oh, well, I can do a little more.'
Shalom says bit by bit, each little "stretch" he did spurred him on to the next and soon it became a routine.
"Running became part of the way I didn't use meth," he says.
Shalom says running helped him recover from years of substance abuse, with the natural endorphins offering him a new way to "feel amazing".(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
Shalom Kaa says he could never have expected when he was younger that running would become part of his healing process.(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
Shalom says while he doesn't necessarily enjoy the act of running, the achievement he feels afterwards spurs him on to "do it again tomorrow".(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
For him, while the pain of the race is brutal, the feeling of the endorphins rushing through him afterwards is nothing short of "amazing".
"I don't like the exercise before I start it ... because I feel the hurt, I feel the pain, and I feel like 'I'm just gonna give up,'" he says.
"But there's so much greatness that comes from the end of the race ... once you finish it and once you do that extra k [kilometre] you could go conquer the world after that.
"It gives me a sense of achievement that just then becomes joy."
Shalom is quick to share that his recovery from long-term substance abuse — like many others' — hasn't been linear.
Shalom Kaa says he wants to tell his story to help "take the shame out of the conversation" when it comes to people's recovery from substance abuse.(ABC News: Tristan Hooft)
"I've had hiccups along the way," he says.
"But one thing I've learned through really good psychology and great support here in Darwin is not to use those as ways to keep staying down.