Joy Villa has opened up about getting up the courage to defect from the Church of Scientology after 15 years in its service, and not before being in the religious cult took a steep toll on her physical and mental health.

“From the outside, my life inside Scientology looked like a success story. Inside, it was slowly destroying me,” the singer told the Evie publication in an essay to explain her departure. Villa argued her years inside Scientology coincided with appearances at the Grammy Awards, Billboard chart hits and many TV appearances.

“I was visible, successful, and influential. And Scientology took credit for all of it. Every achievement was attributed not to God, not to talent, not to perseverance, but to auditing, donations, and loyalty to the organization. My success became propaganda. My life became marketing,” she wrote in the online publication.

In a statement to The Hollywood Reporter, Villa elaborated on why she was announcing her exit from the Church of Scientology at this time: “Silence protects systems of abuse. I’m speaking now because no one should be interrogated for praying or punished for seeking a church. I am now fully surrendered to Jesus Christ, rebaptized, and committed to helping others recover from cult abuse and coercive control through my nonprofit, The Fearless Joy Foundation. We support survivors in rebuilding their lives, reclaiming their faith, and finding peace after years of manipulation.”

In the Evie essay, Villa claimed she gave the Church of Scientology $2 million in donations, and added her fans never saw the personal cost as she was finally rendered “spiritually bankrupt.” “I was working twelve-hour days, mentally depleted, spiritually numb, emotionally unraveling. I was deeply depressed. So depressed that I began to scare myself. I did not want to die, but I no longer wanted to live,” she wrote.

Villa argued her Christian faith ultimately convinced her to leave the Church of Scientology, which is closely associated with Tom Cruise and other celebrity followers. “Scientology is not a self-help system. It’s a control system,” she added.

“At the center of it is auditing, which is presented as spiritual counseling but functions far closer to an interrogation technique. You sit across from an auditor with an E-meter, answering deeply personal questions while your emotional responses are measured, recorded, and stored,” Villa recounted.

She was also trained to audit others with an eye to possible blackmail. “I know how it works because I was taught how to extract information, how to keep people talking, how to bypass resistance, how to reframe discomfort as spiritual weakness. Nothing shared in auditing is ever truly confidential. Files follow you forever,” Villa wrote.