Nine Years After Carrie Fisher Died, Billie Lourd Says Mom “Lives on Through Joy” With Kids, Dad Bryan Lourd
The 'American Horror Story' actress shared a sweet morning ritual with her children and their grandfather and connected it to her grief on the anniversary of her mother's death.
Billie Lourd reflected on the nine-year anniversary of the death of her mother Carrie Fisher on Saturday by recalling the joyful moments she spends with her children and her father, CAA CEO Bryan Lourd.
Fisher, Billie Lourd wrote in a long Instagram post remembering her mother, “lives on through this joy.”
Billie Lourd shared how she and her daughter went outside this morning and her daughter laid her head on her chest and said “I love you mama” and grabbed her face and kissed her.
“She does this pretty much every morning and dare I say, there is no better way to wake up and no ritual I love more,” Billie Lourd wrote. “I told her how much her grandmomby would have loved her and she looked up at me and kissed me again.”
The American Horror Story actress then shared that she and her daughter went to breakfast with her dad, with the CAA co-chairman and the child running “around together like 2 old souls that have known each other forever.”
“Watching my dad with my kids is one of the greatest joys I’ve ever known,” The Scream Queens alum wrote. “The kind of joy that makes your face hurt because you can’t stop smiling, the kind of joy that makes you feel like your life is a movie you thought only existed in movies. But then you take a step back and realize that it’s better than any movie could ever be.”
That joy, Billie Lourd wrote, “wouldn’t be possible without” Fisher.
“This joy only exists because she existed. So even though she is not physically part of this joy, she is part of the reason for it. Even though she is not alive she lives on through this joy,” she wrote. “My grief takes on many shapes – today, right now in this moment, that shape is this joy I get to experience watching my kids with my dad. It could and will change shapes multiple times throughout this day because grief is never just one thing but right now I am relishing in this bittersweet grieful joy.”
In closing, Billie Lourd said she would “never stop missing” Fisher. Her remarks were accompanied by two photos, one that appeared to be of Fisher and Bryan Lourd with Billie Lourd as a child and another of Bryan Lourd seemingly holding Billie Lourd’s kids, which Billie Lourd said were taken in the same room 25 years apart.
Fisher died on Dec. 27, 2016, at the age of 60, after suffering a heart attack on a flight from London to Los Angeles. Fisher’s mother, and Billie Lourd’s grandmother, , died just a day later, on Dec. 28, at the age of 84.