Stranger Things fever is at an all-time high. The show ends forever tomorrow, and we’ll finally get to see if good—aided by science, superpowers, junk food, and Dungeons & Dragons-inspired strategy—will triumph over evil and allow the long-suffering heroes of Hawkins to move on with their lives. In these precious few hours when there are still plenty of Stranger Things unknowns, let’s do the silliest thing imaginable and rank all the couples on the show (inclusive of pairings that are romantic, platonic, and… more abstract) according to how much chemistry they have.

Leaving aside the main characters who are not attached in any way (Will, Murray, Kali, Holly, and the rest of the young kids), we’ll start from least sizzling and work our way up to red hot.

10. The Wheelers

This marriage has long been in trouble—who could forget Karen’s crush on Billy, circa his bad-boy lifeguard era? (No doubt she hasn’t.) At this point, no amount of wine, golf, or demogorgon battles seems likely to reignite any passion here.

© Netflix

9. Eleven and Mike

Ah, season three: everyone hung out at the mall, and Stranger Things was completely invested in this tweenage love affair. Hopper’s overprotective hovering couldn’t stop these two from smooching on the sly. But now that Eleven and Mike are high school age, prime time for raging hormones, their spark seems to have gone out completely. Sure, they’re still close, but they favor chaste hugs when they reunite—and while Mike’s determined to make Eleven dream of a life post-Vecna, somewhere involving at least one waterfall, we’re getting mostly friendship vibes from these two.

8. Nancy and Jonathan

Speaking of couples who are better off as friends, it took a brush with death inside a melting building, but Nancy and Jonathan finally realized that breaking up was the best way forward for each of them. After all the negativity they’d flung at each other, their heart-to-heart capped by Jonathan’s “un-proposal” was such a relief. They’ll be bonded forever, but marriage is thankfully not in the cards.

7. Hopper and Joyce

This relationship has settled into a place that would feel almost comfortable if not for the circumstances surrounding them. Will Joyce and Hopper, who’ve known each other since high school but only became a couple recently, be able to make it work once the chaos that pushed them together subsides? There are certainly feelings between them, but the longevity here is debatable, even without taking Hopper’s suicidal tendencies into consideration.