The US just invaded your country, kidnapped your president, and wants to take your oil. But good news, Venezuelans, Starlink claims you can get a month of free Internet, even though it doesn't say how that could work in a place where it doesn't offer service.

Starlink added a page to its Help Center on Sunday detailing its offer of Starlink service credits for Venezuelans, providing free connectivity through February 3. According to the page, active Starlink customers in Venezuela will see service credits proactively applied to their accounts, while inactive customers will be able to reactivate through the beginning of February without having to pay for service. 

There's just one big problem with Elon Musk's latest generous humanitarian offer: Starlink isn't available in Venezuela.

Take a look at the company's service map and you'll see, amid a sea of light-blue South American nations with active Starlink service, a dark-blue Venezuela, indicating that Starlink is "coming soon" to the latest country to be targeted for exports of freedom, US style. 

Starlink's South American service map - note the lack of service in Venezuela - Click to enlarge

What does that mean for Venezuelan Starlink customers, however few or many there may be? They're roaming, naturally. 

"At this time, our focus is on enabling connectivity for new and existing customers to support the people of Venezuela with free service credits," Starlink said on the help page. "If you already have a Starlink kit in your possession, you can select a Roam plan to use your Starlink in Venezuela."

Starlink roaming in unauthorized countries that differ from the buyer's shipping address, we note, "may cause your service to be restricted immediately," according to Starlink's Help Center. One would hope the company is going to overlook those restrictions, considering Starlink receivers aren't available in Venezuela, meaning that anyone roaming in the country is operating in a nation unauthorized for service. We reached out to Starlink with questions, but didn't hear back. 

In addition to the problem of Venezuela not being a country with active Starlink service, the company said it doesn't know if or when anyone in the nation will be able to purchase a receiver in order to get that free month of access. 

"We are actively monitoring evolving conditions and regulatory requirements," Starlink said. "We do not have yet have [sic] a timeline for local purchase availability." 

Note the key word: purchase - meaning yet again that Venezuelans hoping to get a free month of Starlink amid US-triggered power and internet outages won't be getting free dishes as part of the deal. 

• Bombshell biography: Fearing nuclear war, Musk blocked Starlink to stymie Ukraine attack on Russia
• Starlink to lower orbits of thousands of satellites over safety concerns
• SpaceX cuts off Ukraine's 'offensive' Starlink use
• Starlink is burning up one or two satellites a day in Earth's atmosphere

After all, the world's richest man learned the hard way in Ukraine what handing out $350 receivers can do to his bottom line. Starlink didn't repeat that mistake when it offered "free" service to North Carolina residents hit by Hurricane Helene in 2024, instead burying the lede on the need for users to spend upwards of $400 to cash in on that free service offer. 

As noted by Gartner distinguished VP analyst Bill Ray, chief of research on emerging technology and trends, this move is a political one on SpaceX's part. 

"Very few people will be able to get access to the necessary equipment, but SpaceX will be hoping that this might smooth the way to getting a local permit under whatever administration emerges in Venezuela," Ray told The Register in an email. "Starlink has the technical capability to provide service just about anywhere, but is limited by local regulations."

Ray added that Starlink has been providing service in Iran despite being in breach of international regulations, as it has no fear of reprisals from the Iranian government. 

"That's not going to happen in China, or Russia, as both countries could impose economic sanctions," Ray said. "Iran has no such ability, and neither does Venezuela." 

In other words, the free service to internet-deprived Venezuelans isn't the point at all - Musk is just trying to grease the pan when the dust settles and a new government sets up shop in the country. It's another chance for Musk to make a buck off of goodwill generated on the back of human suffering. ®